Saturday, 29 April 2017

Community Safety Bullying Female Aggression Workplace Bullying "Ms Bully" Good Weekend Sydney Mornng Herald JULY 11 2015

Ms Bully

I find it easier to get along with males in the workplace," admits Christina N. She sounds sheepish when she says this, and I'm not surprised. Christina is one of the most committed feminists I know.
Tall, stylish Gabrielle A shot to the top of her profession when she migrated to Australia as a young creative. But within a few years, she found herself relentlessly targeted by a squat, middle-aged female manager who'd clawed her way up the ranks and "didn't like any successful women". When Gabrielle objected to being shouted at in front of her workmates, she was told, "Toughen up, princess."
When Belinda L went to her manager to call out a trio of female thugs whose Mean Girls-style tactics were regularly reducing a secretary to tears, "He kept watering it down, saying, 'It must have been an accident.' " It was only later that Belinda twigged that the bullies' ringleader was having an affair with him.
Over a 30-year career, public sector lawyer Sheila K led several high-level investigations into workplace bullying and harassment. But when she herself was targeted - by a swaggering female boss she calls "the Alpha Bitch" - Sheila was blind-sided. In the end, she elected to take a redundancy rather than initiate formal proceedings. "It's a nasty process with no real outcome," she tells me with a sigh. "I would have liked to have the courage to front it. But I just didn't think it was going to get me anywhere."
"Victim" is the last word that occurs to you when you talk to women like these. They are strong, funny, articulate, insightful. They are highly regarded within their professions. Ironically, perhaps, they are also women with a strong sense of sisterhood, who genuinely like and support other women.
Yet each of them has had her career in some way ambushed by a female co-worker. And they are hardly isolated cases. Research indicates that women target other women twice as often as they do men. (Male bullies take a more equal-opportunity approach to on-the-job harassment.) And the fall-out they experience is especially toxic. Figures show that nearly nine in 10 women who are bullied by female colleagues will lose or leave their jobs as a result.
Until about 25 years ago, the term "bullying" was pretty much restricted to big kids stealing lunch money from little kids. As a category of organisational dysfunction, it's still an emerging concept. As an object of study, woman-to-woman workplace bullying is newer still.
Last year, the issue of workplace bullying was addressed in Australian law. Workers who believe they have been targeted can now apply to the Fair Work Commission for a stop order, and action can also be taken through state health and safety authorities and the Australian Human Rights Commission. Now all we need to do is figure out exactly what "workplace bullying" means. Definitions remain vague and variable, and drawing a hard line between actionable harassment and bad management can be a human-resources minefield.
Psychologist Evelyn Field, a corporate consultant and author of four books on the subject, defines bullying broadly as "an abuse of power that results in some form of injury or damage". Most experts, including Australia's Fair Work Ombudsman, stress that the key factor is a persistent pattern of behaviour that causes distress. A single incident - no matter how loud or larded with obscenities - does not a bullying charge make.
By any definition, on-the-job bullying appears to be a growth industry. Tectonic economic shifts - all of which boil down to the fact that people don't have jobs for life any more - are probably the main culprit. But researchers also cite the influx of women into managerial roles, the breakdown of community and even the decline of religion as contributing factors.
In a 2012 survey of government workers in NSW, almost half reported witnessing bullying in the workplace in the past 12 months, and 29 per cent had personally experienced it. More than one in five had submitted a formal complaint. (Those are especially high figures - about double the average international incidence, according to a recent review.) A 2012 federal parliament inquiry into workplace bullying estimated the cost to the Australian economy could be as high as $36 billion annually. That's not lunch money.
Here's another surprise: up to a third of the bad guys aren't guys at all. The question of why women workers mistreat other women - and how they do - generates strong opinions. But hard evidence remains thin.
Everybody secretly loves a catfight. Yet everybody fears it, too - probably because female aggression runs so counter to our stereotypes around feminine "niceness". When women have their claws out, blokes fear to tread. And other women run for cover too, instinctively protecting their flanks.
"Be honest," I urge Dr Sara Branch, an organisational psychologist and member of Griffith University's Workplace Bullying team. "Are women just bitchier?"
"I would say it's more complicated than that," she replies carefully. "It's not as simple as saying women are horrible to women. Bullying isn't just an interaction between two parties. It's the workplace environment, plus the two people, plus the bystanders."
That makes sense. Female workers still cluster in "pink ghetto" industries such as teaching, nursing and retail, or in woman-heavy departments such as human resources or publicity. So women simply have more opportunity for same-sex bullying.
There's another factor, too. Research shows that any single-gender-dominated workplace will be more prone to bullying compared to those with a balance of men and women. The average childcare centre is a battlefield; so too is the average mine site.
But it's when Branch points out that women are more likely to be bullied in both female- and male-dominated workplaces that I get confused.
At first, I think I misheard her. "Wait, are you saying women are just more likely to be bullied, full stop?"
"Well, yes," she replies.
Again, when you think about it, it makes sense. The least powerful people - whether on the school bus or in the boardroom - will always be the ones most vulnerable to abuse. And the research results are pretty clear on this one. While woman-to-woman bullying tends to get the press, overall "the vast majority of bullies are men", according to American psychologists Ruth and Gary Namie. Their 2014 US Workplace Bullying Survey found that 69 per cent of all perpetrators were male, and six out of 10 targets were female.
That doesn't prove women are nicer. In fact, the opposite position - that women really are hard-wired to scratch each other's eyes out, given half a chance - has support from some surprising quarters. Feminist theorist Phyllis Chesler, for example, argues that women are oppressed "not because men beat up on us but because we don't want to be shunned by our little cliques".
The author of the classic work Woman's Inhumanity to Woman, Chesler argues that "the feminist view that women are morally superior to men, are compassionate, nurturing, maternal and also very valiant under siege" is pure myth. In a nutshell, Chesler's take is simply that yes, girls are mean. Really, really mean. Not because they're female, necessarily. Because they're human.
But what about the oft-repeated view that "women are their own worst enemies"? Bullyblocking author Evelyn Field muses that "because of the lack of support for women within the higher echelons in industry everywhere, I suspect women are fighting women for the fewer jobs that are available to women". But, she concludes, "the basic fact, at the end of the day, is that men support men, but women don't support women. Whereas men do. Men will press the 'reset' button. Women take it personally. Women are more sensitive, more vulnerable and very nasty in a subtle way."
"But isn't that just a stereotype?" I prod. "I mean, isn't that simply the Mean Girls scenario that pop culture has led us to expect?" Field exhales, clearly impatient. "There's not a sisterhood," she repeats briskly.
And I get that. I'm sad about it, but I get it. What I don't get is the evidence that males are any less cutthroat or competitive. "Don't you ever watch Mad Men?" I want to ask her. "Or read the Bible, or Homer, or Shakespeare? Haven't you ever seen World Wide Wrestling, or Question Time?"
All bullying is a bid for power and control. But do female workplace bullies use different tactics to achieve their dastardly ends? Griffith University's Sara Branch explains there is a lack of direct data about perpetrators, who naturally enough "don't often put their hands up to be studied. What we do know from targets is that men are more open in their aggression, but women tend to use exclusion and tactics that embarrass the other person. They tend to be a little more covert."
"Tend to" is the key phrase here. Belinda L was bullied by a classic girl gang who dressed in matching, sexed-up corporate uniforms and even tried to dictate whom she could and couldn't have lunch with. But the majority of the women I talk to have been subjected to so-called "male-style" bullying by their female bosses.
Sheila K described her wrecking ball of a boss as someone who was simply "very powerful and very inclined to use power to intimidate", who would fix subordinates with a death stare, even in the hall or the lift.
Christina N described her female boss as "more aggressive-aggressive" and her male boss as more passive-aggressive. "Scott would say things behind your back, and say things to other people. But face to face, he'd be as nice as pie." It was the bloke who was the Mean Girl, in other words.
Gabrielle A's female boss also played against type, "going for me full-on, with both guns - and in an open-plan office". It was a volatile, deadline-driven workplace, Gabrielle concedes, and as a manager she'd had her own share of aggressive encounters with her mostly male colleagues. But these were "normal barneys" and quickly resolved. "Being blokes, it was black, white, done, over" and often ended in a laugh.
The contrast illustrates the difference between what researchers call "predatory" and "dispute-related" behaviour. The latter has a good chance of being resolved. In the former, you've basically got Buckley's. "All the training in the world will not help you if you just have a predator, who is just nasty," says Branch.
Evelyn Field is more optimistic about the predator's chances for rehabilitation. Yes, "their brains are different and their level of empathy is different. But they're not idiots. They know that if they don't change the way they work with other people that they're out of a job."
Experts agree that there's no such thing as a "typical" target of female bullying. Case in point: popular, powerful Network Ten broadcaster Sandra Sully, who was bullied relentlessly by a woman who was her subordinate. (The term for that, I learn, is "upward bullying" - and yes, it's a thing.)
"I was gobsmacked when I realised I'd been bullied," Sully told me. "I kept groping and grappling for the right way to describe this ongoing targeting, this vindictive behaviour that was aimed at me. In the last 10 years, people are like, 'Yes, well, you were being bullied.' " The bully's tactic - which turns out to be a classic manoeuvre - involved framing Sully as "the problem".
"Being a woman, and talent, it's just so easy to be perceived as being difficult," says Sully. "And that adds an extra level of complication to it all."
In Belinda L's workplace, an older, "victim-y" woman had been the first to be targeted. She would respond to taunts by breaking down in tears. In contrast, at age 28, funny, outspoken Belinda could not have been further from the office-doormat type.
But after a few months of being deliberately sidelined from meetings and conferences, she found her confidence dwindling. She could see herself transforming into a victim - and it scared the hell out of her.
Women who have been bullied, especially by other women, are less likely to resolve their workplace issues than to abandon them - by quitting their jobs, seeking redundancies or moving strategically sideways. (Perpetrators, on the other hand, generally stay put.) Managers are reluctant to get their hands dirty - and often for good reason. "He said/she said" is hard enough. But "she said/she said"? Forget about it.
"Any male CEO I've ever spoken to about this has said, 'Oh, you so don't want to go there as a bloke,' " says Sully. "Even female bosses have said, 'You just can't deal with a crying woman.' "
As a public-sector lawyer, Sheila K was routinely tasked with investigating bullying claims. The experience left her with a lot of sympathy for management. "There's this very long grey area of 'What is acceptable behaviour in the workplace?' - and, 'When does unacceptable behaviour amount to bullying?' "
For targets, she knows too well, lodging a formal complaint can be as stressful as the bullying itself. "It's not just a simple matter of making a complaint, yes or no. People have to give evidence against their workmates. Will you stand up and be counted? What are the consequences if you do? Will it be held against you? Will your career suffer? And don't forget, you've got to have corroborated evidence."
Sheila herself opted for a redundancy, for exactly these reasons. Gabrielle did pursue a claim and, while the settlement she received was "bugger-all really, considering I lost half a year's salary", the outcome was a symbolic vindication. But the impact on her life, professionally, socially and emotionally, has been devastating. She has moved overseas and is trying to rebuild. After 12 years with the one organisation, it's been tough. "You don't win," she told me. "You just don't. But it's not about the money. It's about putting a line under this and getting on with your life."
For the small percentage of targets who stay in their jobs, the challenge is all about putting energy into what they can control - their own responses - and leaving personalities and attitudes out of it.
In most cases, bullying isn't a personal problem. It's a cultural one. Some workplace cultures show zero tolerance. Others permit, or even implicitly invite, harassment and intimidation. In those cases, observes Belinda, "Management say they care about it, but once a bullying culture is set up, I've never seen anybody effectively change it."
Yet Belinda was able to turn the tables, with help from a counsellor who advised her to fight fire with fire. To shut her door, physically. To make new friends. To respond mockingly rather than meekly to verbal put-downs. To call out the bullying in public wherever possible. Victory came the day she looked her boss straight in the eye during a meeting and asked coolly, "Why are you rolling your eyes? Is there something funny about what I just said?" At that moment, she recalls, her tormentor "absolutely caved. After that, she had no power."
Looking back, Christina admits that her male colleagues stood their ground in a way that she was never able to manage. "The men were able to tell managers to back off, and they did. Maybe I was never as assertive or aggressive. But why do you have to be?"
Sandra Sully speaks for many when she says that if she had her time over again, she would call out bullies much, much sooner. She counts her failure to do so as one of the biggest mistakes of her career.
"It would have made my life so much easier if I just could have said, 'I'm being bullied. By this person. This is what they're doing.' It's a term that employers are finally starting to understand."

Wednesday, 22 March 2017

Community Safety Bullying Workplace Bullying Covert Bullying "Rumors in the Workplace Managing and Preventing Them" "Rumors. If you haven't been a victim of one, you may have participated in one" Mind Tools #rumours #rumourspread #gossip #fearofcrime #cyberbullying

Rumors. If you haven't been a victim of one, you may have participated in one.

At work, however, this type of interaction is harmful and costly. It wastes time, damages reputations, promotes divisiveness, creates anxiety, and destroys morale.
Knowledge is power, and that's why the people with the least amount of power in an organization can often be the ones to start and spread rumors. It can make them feel important if they're seen to know things that others don't.

Let people know that rumors are unacceptable – Establish a policy for dealing with rumors and gossip. Outline what you'll do to prevent rumors from starting, and address how you'll deal with the people who engage in this behavior. Talk about the effects of rumors in the workplace. The more that people understand why the behavior is damaging, the more likely they'll be to monitor their own participation.


Rumors in the Workplace

Managing and Preventing Them

© iStockphoto
Rumors. If you haven't been a victim of one, you may have participated in one.
The whispers when a colleague is fired. The looks of understanding when two co-workers routinely "stay late to catch up on paperwork" on the same evening. The emails back and forth guessing at which department will suffer the largest budget cuts.
It's difficult not to become involved in gossip at work. After all, people like gossip and interesting bits of information: you only have to look at the number of celebrity-focused publications to realize that we have a huge appetite for discussing other people's lives. At work, however, this type of interaction is harmful and costly. It wastes time, damages reputations, promotes divisiveness, creates anxiety, and destroys morale.
So why do people start and spread rumors? Much of it has to do with our need to make sense of what's happening around us. To understand what's going on, people talk to one-another. And, together, they fill in the holes in the story with a little bit of fact – and a lot of guesswork. This new story spreads, with bits and pieces added along the way, until you have an out-of-control rumor spreading throughout your company.

Why Rumors Start

Rumors often grow because people like to be "in the know." Knowledge is power, and that's why the people with the least amount of power in an organization can often be the ones to start and spread rumors. It can make them feel important if they're seen to know things that others don't.

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This knowledge is at the center of why and how rumors start and spread. Insufficient knowledge or incomplete information are often to blame. Consider these examples:
  • People don't know why a colleague was fired, so they make up a reason based on some limited knowledge or insignificant fact. "I saw John override the cash register the other day without a supervisor present. Maybe he stole some money and that's why he went."
  • People see a pattern of behavior between two individuals and they add their own explanation. "Joseph and Samantha spend a lot of time together after hours ‘catching up on paperwork.' And just yesterday, they were sitting awfully close to each other in the meeting. I bet paperwork isn't all that's getting done after quitting time!"
  • People know that budget meetings are being held, and they're all behind closed doors and kept very quiet. To help these people deal with the stress, they try to gain some control and predict the outcome. "When Steve came out of the budget meeting today, he looked really angry. The other day, he said how nervous he was about his presentation to the board. I bet he made mistakes and had his budget cut."


    Some rumors, like the one in the second example, take on a more personal tone. These are generally what we think of as gossip. Gossip tends to be related to interpersonal relationships, and is often malicious in nature. It can get out of control quickly, and should be addressed promptly – before it leads to harassment or bullying .
These rumors are typical of the things you'll face at work, and they spread because of a lack of accurate information. So, the best way to fight rumors is with good communication. When you communicate well, your team knows what's happening, and they trust that you'll keep them informed. Good communication within your team also means that you will become aware of any rumors that are starting, and you'll be able to address them quickly and effectively.
Dealing with rumors requires a two-pronged attack. Firstly, you need to set up an environment where rumors are not as likely to start. And secondly, you need to establish a pattern of open communication that allows you to remain aware of what's being said.

Preventing Rumors

  • Keep workers informed – When workers know what's going on within an organization, they don't need to guess as much. Use newsletters, weekly meetings, or regular updates via the intranet to let people know what's happening.
  • Communicate – When you face adversity in your business, keep the lines of communication open. This is when distrust and stress are likely to be highest. Whether it's communicating during a crisis dealing with a shrinking team , or managing during a downturn , it's fundamentally important to communicate clearly.
  • Be open and honest – When you can't reveal all of the information about a certain situation or event, be up front about it. People know when they aren't being told the whole story. Cut off the rumors from the start by explaining that you'll provide more information after you have all the details.
  • Establish transparency within your systems – Develop a promotion process that's clear and fair. Hold meetings behind closed doors only when absolutely necessary. Share industry reports and company performance data. The more people understand, the more they trust.
  • Practice Management By Wandering Around  – The closer you are to your team and to other workers, the easier it is to communicate information and the greater the sense of trust. This also gives you an opportunity to hear rumors when they start, instead of only after they're out of control.
  • Let people know that rumors are unacceptable – Establish a policy for dealing with rumors and gossip. Outline what you'll do to prevent rumors from starting, and address how you'll deal with the people who engage in this behavior. Talk about the effects of rumors in the workplace. The more that people understand why the behavior is damaging, the more likely they'll be to monitor their own participation.
  • Build a culture that promotes cooperation rather than competition – Putting people in direct competition with one another for reward and recognition creates an opportunity for conflict and resentment. This lays a foundation of distrust between people and departments, and it allows rumors to start and grow. It's a good idea to monitor the level of competitiveness within your organization on a regular basis, and then make adjustments as necessary.

Managing Rumors

  • Deal with rumors immediately – Rumors can spread quickly, and they can often change and grow far beyond the small bit of truth that caused them to start. When you hear of a rumor, talk to the people involved. Where appropriate, hold a meeting to address the rumor, and then communicate the truth. Again, if you can't provide all of the details, be honest – and restate your policy about rumor and gossip in the workplace.
  • Set a good example – When someone comes to you with an "interesting" or entertaining story, refuse to get involved. When you hear a story from someone other than a direct source, ask questions. Do what you can to find out the truth. Talk to your boss about what you heard. Again, this keeps the lines of communication open between different channels, and it helps stop rumors.
  • Watch for patterns with rumors – If a certain type of rumor continues to spread, this may mean that you need to provide more information or more regular updates. If a particular person seems to start or spread rumors often, address the situation directly. Rumors affect productivity, so you must deal with them directly as a performance issue.
  • Regularly audit your rumor behavior – Also, encourage your team to do the same. Think about what you might have done over the past month or two to spread rumors. Ask yourself why you participated. Prepare a plan of action so that you'll be less tempted to get involved in the future. If everyone holds themselves a bit more accountable for rumors in the workplace, their frequency – and their negative consequences – will drop.

Key Points

Rumors at work aren't likely to disappear. It's human nature to want to know what's happening around us, and when people don't have complete information, they may fill in the gaps with suppositions that may not be accurate. Fortunately, a little bit of accurate information goes a long way to stop the need to spread rumors.
Focus on open, honest, and regular communication. It's also important to build a culture of mutual respect and integrity. Rumors are spread by people, so you can stop rumors at the source by talking about the negative effects of rumors and gossip, and by outlining your expectations. You probably won't ever stop rumors completely, however, you can use these strategies to create more harmony and trust within your work team.

Wednesday, 8 March 2017

Community Safety Gender Equality educate girls on being equally accountable for their behaviour #IWD #IWD2017 #educateagirlchangetheworld

If you really want to change the world
educate girls on being equally accountable for their behaviour 
and that rumour spread bullying or physical violence IS WRONG!

Pete Dowe

#IWD #IWD2017 #educateagirlchangetheworld

Tuesday, 7 March 2017

Community Safety #IWD #IWD2017 #GenderEquality International Law-abiding Aussie Sheilah Day Respect HER! (and thank your lucky stars!)

I would prefer International Law-abiding Aussie Sheilah Day

Nothin wrong with the law abiding Aussie sheilah

Respect HER! (and thank your lucky stars!)

Pete Dowe 

#IWD #IWD2017